Social clubs: Giving Londoners the community they need

The rise of social media has meant it is easier than ever to interact with people. Yet, loneliness is a big problem. 

This January, 29% of young adults reported feeling lonely more often, according to the ONS. Even in big cities like London, 37% of Londoners crave socialising more often, Opinium research found.

“Modern life has just made it so hard to form genuine human connections,” said Zara Zaman, the Head of Operations at 222 London. 

“The tools that we've built to solve that,” Zara explained, pointing to social media, “They've largely made things worse.”

Increasingly, however, Londoners are turning to social media to find social clubs: regular social meet-ups and events centred around an activity. 

Londoners may stumble across companies like 222 - an app that uses your personality to match you with six strangers for dinner. 

After dinner, the evening transitions into a larger event with 20 to 100 people. This could involve karaoke, pottery, or comedy. By dining with six people that you’re likely to gel with beforehand, Zara said, the second half of the evening is less daunting.

“We help people form, deepen, and maintain meaningful relationships with other people and places on a recurring basis. So not just one good night, but actually build a life full of deep connections with the people,” Zara added.

Azamat Valiyev knew how lonely cities like London could be, especially for gay men. That’s why he and his co-founder, Oliver James, decided to expand their wellbeing supplement brand, Friend of Dorothy. 

“We decided, ‘Okay, how about we do events for gay people in London to make something for our community to fight loneliness,’” he explained. 

After doing some research, Azamat found that hobby-based events sold out more than the typical fitness events on offer to the gay community.

The intersection of hobbies where people could explore their passion, and providing a community for gay men, meant men across England attended Friend of Dorothy events. 

“People are coming from different parts of England because they feel lonely,” said Azamat, “I feel that I'm doing something good for the community, and I appreciate everyone who comes.”

Speaking to attendees at a Friend of Dorothy event in Clapham, it was clear how important having LGBTQ+ spaces is.

“I wanted to make gay friends and queer friends with similar interests,” said Joe, who had also joined an LGBTQ+ football team. By joining these groups, Joe had not only built his confidence but had also met his best friends. 

While Azamat appreciated large-scale events, he found it was harder to build connections with people. The conversations could feel repetitive.

He preferred hosting small-scale events where he could interact with people personally, especially those who come alone. 

“We play board games, and people open up in a completely different way.”

The activities serve as an icebreaker for people, putting them more at ease to chat with one another. 

Laura, a member of Lucy’s Book Club, invited her work colleague to the event one evening. Having a shared passion for reading, the club allowed Laura and her colleague to form a friendship outside of work. Over time, they also formed a friendship group at the club.

“We found two other girls who looked like they knew each other, but they were a bit lost, and we just grouped together.” Laura said, adding that lone attendees usually join them.

“We make new friends along the way.”

While social media has helped people discover new clubs, it’s also created an impatience to form deeper friendships. 

“A lot of people want that Sex and the City friendship,” said Jemima, a member of London’s Lonely Girls Club. 

When she moved to London, social clubs allowed Jemima to have different groups of friends who shared her different interests, over time forming close friendships.

But she noticed some people came to events with the pressure to make long-lasting relationships quickly. 

“It's like they want friends tomorrow,” Jemima added, comparing meeting people to dating. “It's just not going to be that natural for it to build up that quickly. It's just not very feasible, especially once you're out of school; it's a lot harder.”

Content creator Ali Soufan suggested spending time with yourself to work out who you are and what you’re looking for before attending different events. 

“I was entering the adult world, and so were many of my friends, and we were kind of losing a lot of the passion that we had for life and that lust for life.”

Ali reignited his childhood creative passion by attending events in London, posting his experiences online, and now starting his own social group: Anti-Brainrot Club.

“A lot of people find themselves in these situations where they're just unhappy and unsatisfied with their life,” Ali said, adding that people turn to endless scrolling online rather than pursuing a passion and meeting people.

“The best thing to do is to go to these places alone as well because going alone also naturally pushes you to meet more people,” he added, “especially now in the summer, people just want to have a good time; people want to meet each other.”

That’s why social clubs are becoming more popular, said Ali, because people are open to meeting each other and forming relationships.

The main advice people gave for making friends was to use social media as a tool for discovery. Work out what your interests and passions are, and what types of groups you would like to be a part of. 

“That makes me feel even prouder that we've created something for different types of people,” said Azamat.

“It's a lot of effort, but it does pay off because you feel like you are building community. You're helping people, you're changing people's lives somehow. They do make new friends, and I feel like we are on the right track.”

While Friend of Dorothy’s target audience is gay men, they are welcoming to everyone. 

They just wanted people to be friendly and connect.